Happy Independence Day from the Beach and Zoo!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, everybody!!!! Happy Independence Day!

Late? What do you mean, late? THIS IS AMERICA. WE CELEBRATE OUR FREEDOM ALL YEAR ROUND!!!!!!

Have you seen those Buzzfeed posts with all the obnoxious America stuff? I find them hilarious. A little facepalm-inducing, but on the occasion of my country's birthday, I find it all quite funny.

I went to Virginia Beach for the weekend with my aunt. We stayed with her boyfriend and his daughter. It was fun. They have a big, comfy house, and the guest bed was super comfy as well. The first night, I bonded with my aunt's boyfriend's daughter over MarioKart. It's always more fun to play with another person. It was just a lovely night.

Well, I mean, there was that whole Hurricane Arthur thing that happened. That was a little frightening. But Virginia Beach didn't get hit too hard. There wasn't much damage from the hurricane.

But you know what did happen? A tornado warning.

A TORNADO WARNING. Because APPARENTLY THOSE HAPPEN IN VIRGINIA.

It happened in the middle of the night- 1 A.M., 1:30, 2... somewhere in there. My iPhone started beeping at me. I had mentally prepared myself for the sound, since the storm was picking up steam, but I had expected to see something about a hurricane on the screen when I rolled out of bed and checked my phone.

Nope. It was tornado time.

So I went into tornado mode. I stuck my contacts in and went downstairs to watch the news and determine if the tornado was going to be a threat. I determined the safest place in the house to hide from the tornado. I fretted and fretted over whether I should wake anyone else up.

Nobody else got up when their iPhone started beeping. I was apparently the only one who was worried. And, you know, it was all fine anyway. By the time I figured out how to work the TV (it's never as simple as pushing the POWER button these days), the storm had moved out of Virginia Beach and into Norfolk. I stayed up until the tornado warning got knocked back down to a tornado watch.

And then the entire next day, I felt exhausted and foolish. Because I was the only one who was worried about the tornado warning.

But... it was a TORNADO WARNING. Where I come from, YOU DON'T MESS AROUND WHEN THERE'S A TORNADO WARNING. If there's a tornado warning, it means either A TORNADO'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN or there's ALREADY A TORNADO ON THE GROUND AND IT'S COMING TO GET YOU!!!!! Sure, most of the time the tornado doesn't actually come to get you, BUT YOU STILL DON'T MESS AROUND WHEN THERE'S A FREAKIN' TORNADO WARNING!!!!!!

I'm almost done complaining and ranting.

When I finally got to bed, the wind kept me up for a long time.

And then when the wind stopped being loud and annoying, the cat started.

And that was why I was so exhausted the next day.

Now I'm done complaining and ranting.

The next day was the Fourth of July! And it was glorious!

We all slept in a little bit, and then we had a few rounds of "What do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do?" and then we went to the zoo.

The zoo has lovely taste in decorations. A bunch of the animals were inside or hiding or sleeping, but it was still really fun to see the critters that were out and about.

They just thought they otter be patriotic.

How about a tall one to celebrate our fine country?

An elephant nose how to enjoy a national holiday.

This guy was so patriotic, and I'm not lion.

'Ears a spirited celebrator!

This guy and his family celebrated in a very patriotic manor.

I would try to make a pun, but you just don't get any more American than a bison.

The Fourth of July is very near and deer to this little guy's heart.

This guy really made a big skink over the holiday.

These guys wouldn't let other countries get their goat today. 'MERICA.

I bought a red panda toy because it was cute. I didn't actually see any red pandas today, though, and that was disappointing, but now I have one to take home with me! His name is Pabu.

After the zoo, we went to dinner. There were yummy garlic fries involved.

The next day, we went to the beach! And it was so much fun! I'd forgotten how much fun it is to swim in the ocean.

I did get a little sunburn on my back and shoulders, though. Not too bad, although the redness intensifies in those spots where my arms were apparently too short to reach.

I have a birthmark on my back, and it's kind of hard to see, except when my back is sunburned and it sticks out like it's screaming, "HEY, LOOK AT ME! I'M A BIG, WHITE SPOT!!!"

I'm kind of just in a continuous state of laughter over my sunburn.

An Evening of Tans One Year in the Making

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a photo of my right shoulder. As you can see, it's a bit pinkish. That's because I took my hour-long lunch break yesterday out on the deck behind my office building and I sat on the side of the picnic table that was in the sun. I wore a new shirt for the first time yesterday. As you can probably tell from the state of my shoulder today, the new shirt is sleeveless.

My left shoulder is ever so slightly burnt as well, but it's hardly worth mentioning. It doesn't even hurt. 

How on earth did I get such a lopsided sunburn? (I'm thinking it's something to do with the angle of the sun, but whatever) Not only will I have crazy tan lines on my shoulders, but they'll be lopsided, too. I'll never get them evened out.

This is not the first time I've had a lopsided sunburn, though. 

Once upon a time, in the month of June and the year 2013, I was a blogging globetrotter, living in Tours, France with a host family. My host mother's great-granddaughter was having a birthday party, and I was invited along. The party was at a house somewhere across the river, and it was a house very much like those we see in the United States-- in a neighborhood, not attached to any other houses, with a front and back yard. And the backyard was enormous. Probably bigger than my own backyard.

It was a nice, sunny Summer day, and I was wearing a yellow tank top. At one point in the party, several hours in, I found myself seated in a little circle next to a tree along with my host mom and some other family members, just chatting. What I did not realize was that I was only sitting halfway in the shade of the tree.

By the time I realized my folly, the damage had already been done. My left shoulder was a bright, raw red, while my other shoulder was untouched. The lopsided pain, flaking, and tan would plague me throughout my remaining time in France and well into my journey in Ireland.

As the winter came and I limited my exposure to the sun, my shoulders and all the rest of my skin sank back into the cold, dead paleness that would make a Victorian gentleman swoon. I forgot that the sunburn ever happened... until now.

In the summer of 2013, I burned my left shoulder. Now, in the summer of 2014, nearly an entire year later, I have burned my right shoulder. While it might appear that I once again have a lopsided sunburn, I know the truth.

I have finally evened out my tan.