Thursday, February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine's Day 2019

Happy Valentine's Day!

I was inspired to make this year's Valentine post by watching my current favorite Netflix series- Nailed It! Nailed It! is a baking competition whose competitors are decidedly not experts. It's full of fantastic fails and catastrophic cakes.

In hindsight, maybe I should've chosen a different source of inspiration.

Hoooooo boy, did this art fight with me. Krita fought with me. My not-a-real-stylus pen fought with me. The undo button fought with me. I kept accidentally touching the touch screen with my hands. I somehow changed shades of pink at some point. I probably used three different brushes for the icing because I kept accidentally un-selecting my chosen preset brush and forgetting which one I was using.

I almost rage-quit this art.

But I didn't. And I did it for you.

Whether you're a follower of my blog, someone who clicked the link from my Facebook page, or someone who stumbled on this post from the far reaches of the Internet, I love you dearly. Thank you for using these precious minutes of your life to read my blog. I hope you have many sorts of love today and all throughout the year! You can rest assured that, in my opinion, at least, you have absolutely NAILED IT!!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

The Potions Master

I'm getting ready for Halloween!

I'm going to a Halloween murder mystery party this week. The character I've been assigned is a sorceress who's an expert at making potions. The costume suggestion notes suggested I bring "samples" of my potions to show the other party guests, and I thought, "Hey! That sounds fun!"

It was, indeed, fun. It was also kind of a mess.

I had a handful of the materials at home, but I bought most of them from my local Dollar General Market. I bought food coloring, glitter, corn syrup, rubbing alcohol, a medicine dropper and baby snot sucker combo pack, and Krazy Glue for under $20.

I didn't go in with much of a plan. I was hoping to find glycerin, but they didn't have any. I saw corn syrup and thought, "Hmm, that is also colorless, thick, and sticky. Worth a shot." Corn syrup, as I should have realized earlier, since it's basically sugar, dissolves in water. That was bad news for my hopes of creating stratified layers of liquid, but it was very, veeery good news for my cleanup attempts. It absorbs food coloring very well and is excellent at keeping glitter suspended throughout it.

I also didn't originally intend to buy a baby snot sucker (apparently it's called an aspirator, but "baby snot sucker" is more fun to say). I wanted a dropper of some sort, and the only one I could find came in a package with the baby snot sucker. The package was inexpensive, so I reasoned that I could throw away the snot sucker without hurting my feelings (or my wallet) too badly. Luckily for me, I tried using the snot sucker to transfer liquids into my bottles. It turned out to be WAY better for working with corn syrup than the medicine dropper was.

Once again, I didn't have much of a plan going in. I mixed stuff together in red Solo cups, using such scientific measurements as "smidges" and "bits." Some things turned out cool enough to preserve in bottles. Others went down the sink. Within ten seconds of opening a glitter tube, I spilled glitter on the counter and started regretting everything (I probably owe my roommate an apology).

The bottles seem to be working pretty well so far. I found them on Amazon by searching for "potion bottles." The package arrived on my doorstep looking kind of beat up, and the box inside was squished and spilling open, but not a single one of the 18 bottles was broken. I was highly impressed. The corks seem to fit pretty snugly in the bottles, but the reviewers online warned that they wouldn't stay watertight, so I applied Krazy Glue to the corks before sealing the bottles. Hopefully that'll help. If not, I'll have a bag full of sticky, glittery goo.

It was a delightful way to spend an evening! If I have the time and energy, maybe I'll concoct a few more potions before the party this weekend, although I honestly don't think I will. I'm not sure what to do with the 12 bottles left over. Maybe I'll get a head start on Halloween for next year.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Ungenerous Descriptions of Disliked Food

As a small creative writing exercise, here are some ungenerous descriptions of food I don't like. If you'd like to guess what they are, the answers are provided at the bottom. As a fair warning, this post might induce you to lose your appetite.

Also, I make no apologies for any of these descriptions. I stand by what I say. If you like these foods, you probably need to reevaluate your life.

1. Gross, cold, mustard-flavored mush with little boogers mixed into it.

2. Rubbery vegetables that weren't meant to be sugary sweet but, for some reason, are, and somehow manage to be both crunchy and mushy simultaneously.

3. A whitish thing that's definitely not liquid but too mushy to be a solid, and it used to be filled with this dry, crumbly yellow stuff, but somebody had the bright idea to pull the crumbly stuff out, mix it with gunk and boogers, and then put it back in. As if that made it any better.

4. Leafy lumps that look small but still manage to take up all the room in your mouth, and they disintegrate into warm mush and spread their juicy dirt taste all over your mouth when you eat them.

5. Acidic, sour ooze that hides on your cheeseburger and stabs little pitchforks into your tongue when you least expect it.

6. An entire jar of soggy boogers swimming in their disturbingly sweet sweat.

7. Minuscule fire bombs that don't taste like anything- they just hit your tongue and start searing and burning and eating away at it. Like hot acid, only dry.

8. Chicken, but... it's smelly... and the texture is just... off, somehow.

9. Tiny shreds of chewy, limp, soggy, stringy idiocy stewed in bile... and there are so many of them.

10. An insult to fruit. So nice to smell, and so sweet on your tongue, but then you bite into it and you chew it and chew it and chew it, but it resists the grinding prowess of even your toughest molars and hangs around in your mouth all stringy and hairy even as it continues to tease you with a sweet, sunny, tropical taste that makes you confused about whether you want to spit it out.

1. Potato salad
2. Dill pickles
3. Deviled eggs
4. Brussels sprouts
5. Mustard
6. Relish
7. Pepper
8. Fish. Any kind. It's all the same, no matter what anyone says.
9. Sauerkraut
10. Coconut

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Snowy City Sunset

I did a little pseudo-Impressionist art tonight. It was based on a project I did in art class in fourth grade.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Simple Summer Setting

I felt like doing a little art tonight, so I pulled up the old Paint 3D app and tried out the oil brush setting. The texture reminded me of something one might have seen on Blue's Clues- maybe one of the paintings or felt pictures Steve and Blue skidooed into?

I liked how simple and soft it felt.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Breeze, Goodnight App That Lets Me Share Art With Ease

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown is a classic children's book. I highly recommend it.

Some friends and I like to stay in touch and plan activities throughout the week by group text messages, but recently our group has grown larger than some people's phones can handle, so we've moved the conversation over to GroupMe. So far it's working out nicely.

On a whim, I downloaded the GroupMe app for my laptop, and I discovered it's ridiculously easy to share my little digital doodles on it. Some apps, like 3D Paint app (which I used for this little drawing) have a "share" function that allows me to slap my drawings up on GroupMe or other social media apps without even saving them to my computer first. I am absolutely enthralled with this feature and intend to drive my friends crazy with every little doodle that pops into my head.

(If you don't comment on the fact that I used 3D Paint to make 2D art, I won't have to make a mean face at you)

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Happy Father's Day to the Safety Ghost

I have a lack of Father's Day wrapping paper, so I made my own and got my sister's input for design ideas. This was one of the decorations that ended up on the wrapping paper.

Once upon a time, my family lived in a house in Oklahoma that had a comfortable, functional kitchen. And one night my mom wasn't around, so it was up to my dad, my sister, and I to make dinner if we wanted to eat.

I was somewhere between the ages of 5 and 9. My sister Mikayla was somewhere between the ages of 2 and 6. We weren't exactly the best chefs. But on that night, we were going to make dinner. By ourselves.

I don't remember exactly how this was decided, but I have a feeling it was my dad's idea. It was probably meant to be an educational experience. I remember suspecting laziness as a motive.

It wasn't a difficult meal- it was just Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. We'd seen our parents make it before, and there were directions on the box. But let's be honest, here- using the stove can be kind of a daunting task for a- shall we say, eight-year-old and five-year-old?

We did our best to get started, but it wasn't long before I found myself unsure of how to proceed. I turned to my dad, who was lurking by the fridge behind us, to ask him a question.

He replied that he wasn't really there; he was the Safety Ghost, who would make sure that my sister and I didn't hurt ourselves or set the kitchen on fire, but he couldn't provide any advice or assistance. Because he was just the Safety Ghost.

I remember being annoyed. I remember none of my attempts to get help working. I don't remember how the macaroni and cheese actually turned out. But I know the kitchen never caught fire that night.

Although it was infuriating at the time (SERIOUSLY, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!), it makes me smile to look back on my childhood and think of all the times the "Safety Ghost" supervised my sister and me in the kitchen or other projects. I'm glad my dad trusted us enough to let us try some things on our own. I'm glad he wanted us to learn how to do things and figure out how to problem-solve starting at a young age.

The first appearance of the Safety Ghost is the most vivid in my memory. I asked my sister if she had any good stories to share with the Internet, and she said I should talk about the time Dad was supposed to be the Safety Ghost for my Rube Goldberg project in high school but ended up practically taking over the project because he just couldn't help himself. The man loves a good project.

All jokes aside, thanks for letting us use power tools, Dad. Not all little girls had dads who would let them help out with building furniture or constructing holiday decorations, and it means a lot to me that I was allowed to try my hand at building things. Those experiences helped me become the crafty, creative, resourceful person I am today!

So thanks for letting us get our hands dirty! Thanks for pushing us out of our comfort zones! I still think you were just being lazy sometimes, but it worked out all right in the end! Happy Father's Day, Safety Ghost!