The Most Confusing Slice of Pizza I've Ever Eaten
A Play in One Act
A recent college graduate
Some man sitting with his friends and family on the sidewalk
Two fathers, two mothers, assorted small children
(A neighborhood cul-de-sac. The NEIGHBORS sit on the sidewalk. REBECCA enters stage left, slowing to a walk after running around the neighborhood. She is listening to music through headphones.)
REBECCA: (walks past the families at a fast pace, exits stage right)
NEIGHBORS: (eat pizza while sitting on the sidewalk, enjoying the weather)
REBECCA: (enters stage right, still walking quickly)
ALL NEIGHBORS: (whisper to each other)
NEIGHBOR MAN: (waves frantically at REBECCA, gesticulating at pizza box)
REBECCA: (confused, approaches NEIGHBOR MAN and takes off headphones) Sorry?
NEIGHBOR MAN: You're working hard, exercising. How about a slice of pizza? (holds up a slice of pizza)
REBECCA: (aside) This man just offered me a slice of pizza-- the ultimate sign of friendship! I'm not exactly in the mood for food at the moment, but how could I refuse? It's such a friendly gesture! (to NEIGHBOR MAN) Are you sure?
NEIGHBOR MAN: (slightly taken aback) You're out here walking around, huffing and puffing, and you want this slice of pizza?
REBECCA: (laughs) I've got this! (aside) This is strange. He seems reluctant to give me the pizza.
NEIGHBOR MAN: Well... All right, you called my bluff. Here you go. (hands REBECCA a slice of pizza)
REBECCA: (accepts the pizza and begins to shuffle back toward the street) Thank you.
NEIGHBOR MAN: (turns to the other NEIGHBORS) You owe me a slice of pizza!
(REBECCA walks downstage. LIGHTS DOWN on the NEIGHBORS, SPOTLIGHT on REBECCA)
REBECCA: I am so confused. If the man didn't want to give me pizza, why did he offer in the first place? Was it some sort of bet? Am I the victim of a cruel joke? Did I just take his dinner? (beat) Well, it serves him right. First of all, he shouldn't be messing with people like that. Second of all, you should never expect a young adult to turn down free pizza. That's just stupid.
(She takes a bite of the pizza.)
REBECCA: This is really good pizza.